Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
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There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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