my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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