sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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