i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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