Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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