There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
