the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
