Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
