I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
