They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
