Quick, to the slutcave!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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