i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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