Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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