Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
