He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
