that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
