Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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