I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
