Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My penis needs a shock collar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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