Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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