I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
