the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's just like the Real World with babies
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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