I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
