why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
