So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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