dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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