i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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