last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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