I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
