Your dad touched me again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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