Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
