After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize