i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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