i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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