I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
