is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
