At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
