remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we're making bets on your personal life
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
