youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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