Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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