my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
