I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize