don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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