No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
