I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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