I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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