were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
