we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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