After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
