I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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