speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
