He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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