You're my little dorito
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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