we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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