The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
