I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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