she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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