i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
