just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
