a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
